Moving home

Look out Mama....I think I want to move home. Tuesday I was in the hospital and the most recent information in their system was from my cheerleading injury my senior year of highschool. I dont think I was really hurt but it was nice to go to the hosptal. Otis - we'll allow him the title of highschool sweetheart - came and brought a bear. I think it was a teddy bear I had given him earlier ( makes me laugh just typing it) but nonetheless, it was a bear and it was just for me. Someone else brought me a steak and shake milkshake - cookies and cream. i can't remember who but it was noted at the time and very special.
Anyway, so the lady asked me if I were out of highschool yet and if I still lived at 914 Denmeade Walk. My eyes are watering as I type my old address. I would love to be in highschool again. I want to move home and be with my family. I miss Mary and Carter and homecooked meals. I miss coming home and sneaking a snack while mom is getting something ready for dinner. I miss going to bed and feeling so safe cause my dad is big and tall and because my house I grew up in was big and secluded by Buddy Darden's woods. The only scary place in the whole house was dads office. Scary because we werent allowed to touch anything but we always did. I know dad probably knew. Secondly because it was in the very bottom and very back of the house next to the unfinished part where all the tools and storage boxes were kept. I'd hate to have to turn out the lights in the basement - especially in his office when I was the last one to go to bed. I would go to my room - 2 floors up - turn on all the lights to the top and then as I got through each room I'd turn off the lights and run. The mind is a scary thing. You can really make your self scared sick. Nothing ever got me and no one ever jumped out at me.

I could write for hours about my old house. I will. Just not today.
Bottom line is I want to move home. I was really sad when I told the poor check-in lady at the hospital, that no - in fact I dont live there and actually in between then and now I have lived in a few places and been away from my family, and lost sight of the most important things in the world, and been stressed at work and in life to where I long for the comforts of Denmeade Walk til I am sick in the stomach, that I had fallen in love, had my heart broken and grown tremendously but more than anything I just wanted to be 'home.' Since my family moved to Boston and now back I hadnt really felt like I had a 'home'. I know I have a place to go but it wasnt the home I grew up in and a place that was partly mine. As I type this, though, I am realizing that home really is where the heart is. Cheesy but true - No area in my life have I seen the Lord work the way I have seen him work in my family. From challenging us, to breaking us to humbling us and rebuilding. I am so thankful for the work He is doing and I am so excited to grow older with my family and get to experience life! Despite all that may come our way - when you go home you can be you. And what an exhilerating and altogether freeing feeling!

Okay, you can turn off the epiphany music in the background. I am done. If you made it this far through - you may know more of me than you want. I'm going to call mama now....I need to go home.