TITAICNTSBIHTMC

Today is Tuesday and I can not think straight because I had too much coffee.

My heart is racing.
My stomach feels like a Ferris wheel and I think my eyes are crossing.
I only had one more cup than usual because I liked my creamer today and thought I wanted more creamer.
I think my hair is sticking straight up and my eyes are now about to pop out of my head.
I just called Jeff, my coworker, "Doug" for no reason at all.
I am about to make my 3rd trip to the bathroom in 17 minutes and for some reason I keep gettin up and walking to the printer but I never printed anything.
I am thinking about the Florida Keys, hominy, roller skating and my friend Erin from 5th grade all at once. My hands are starting to sweat.

I am going to go home now. I feel too weird. Did someone spike the communal coffee this morning? Why do I drink coffee anyway. Yes, I like to hold it when it is warm and I like the smell but really it is just peer pressure. I work with a slew of 30+ year olds and I love 30+ year olds but the thing to do is drink coffee in the morning. So I did it. I gave in. Now I am a mess.

Somebody help. IAGHNSIDEMAGF.
I am going home now so I don't embarrass myself and get fired.