At the weirdest hours

Lastnight I came home and decided to hang up clothes and clean my room at 2 in the morning. The last few weeks have been non-stop.....literally, I have to schedule bathroom breaks in the day in order to ensure proper sanitation. There has been absolutely zero margin in my life and as you have probably experienced before, it starts wearing you down....fast. So at 2 in the morning all I wanted to do was clean my room and just sit and literally, not talk to anyone or think about anyone but myself and my utter dependence on God. This time was ordained...that is for sure. You would think after a few weeks of minimal sleep I would be exhausted but at 2 am lastnight I was awake and I was going to learn something in this time.
I have been reading and rereading and rereading again a book called Sermon on the Mount. I have mentioned it before.....the book has been life-changing or perspective-changing for me. The chapter I read yesterday had to do with the Beatitude about hungering for righteousness. "Blesses are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." It's so odd that at the weirdest hours in the day this thought was dropped on me like a ton of bricks. To be honest, I really dont know what it is to hunger for anything or long for anything so badly that it physically hurts you. I guess I have felt that before with psat relationships gone wrong....where you want it so badly that it literally does hurt you to think about it - physically. But that was brief and really silly come to think of it. I guess it served it's purposes though.....
The chapter goes on to read that most people seek fufillment (as we all know) and rarely find it becuase they are seeking just that - happiness. In order to realize true happiness, the beatitude is saying we must hunger or long for righteousness first, happiness is the byproduct. More so, it is a certain byproduct - it says you will be filled. I think my heart knows this and in many ways - I have seen this truth in obvious ways in my life. But in daily living....to literally hunger for righteousness in all I do/think/say/act/believe/etc.....I dont seek righteousness first.
I read until 4 this morning and then got up at 7 for a meeting. So, no, I haven't helped with the margin part of the lesson I need to learn but lastnight was powerful. Hoe greatful I am that He knows when I need Him most and knows how to find time for me - even at 2 in the morning- to just sit and listen.
I am so thankful that He speaks even in the weirdest of hours.