Shine

Really the basis of any daily discontent that I might feel comes from the difference in my aspirations for myself and the reality of a fallen world and my own human imperfection. If I could make any sense of what I am trying to say simply then I am sure you would agree. Lightly said, it is about my good intentions and my inability to follow through with them.
Lastnight I got in late from 7:22 and a friends birthday dinner. Even though I came in late and the average nutritionist would tell me I would need to get atleast 7 hours of sleep - I decided once again to set my alarm at 5:32 as I have all week long. This time, though, I would do what it is I want to do and actually get up. Needless, I fall asleep with ease and surely this morning at 7:45 when I decided to really open my eyes - I never even remembered 5:32 happening. It did - I just half consciously chose to ignore it and start yet another day already behind. Comparatively - not behind too many of you but behind for me. 5:32 used to come naturally for me without an alarm. Not only does 7:45 start me out with negative points for the day - it catapults the rest of the day into disaster. I then don't allot enough time to make my standard nutritious egg breakfast. Strike 1. Hardly ever do I have more than 6 minutes to read anything nor even a minute to thank God for even giving me yet another day.Strike 2. 7:45 = no shower for sure unless I go the rest of the day like a saggy dog - wet headed and usually no sort of presentable attire for work. All morning I have tried to make up for the faulty start to the day and I just cant seem to get it right. Go figure - it is now 2:40 and I am thinking that writing about my lack of discipline is my best form of discipline???

Maybe this story is just about my morning but really it is about so much more. It is about my longing for Eden. It is about my longing for things as they should be. It is about me doing what I am supposed to do without struggle nor contemplation. It is about me realizing that any aspiration or goal I might have comes with atleast marginal effort. It is about me shining in the little things. Rather, Christ shining through me in even the little details.

Average people do just as I did today. There is nothing wrong with it. Average people say that tomorrow they will take care of the things they wanted to take care of today. Average people don't cause too much commotion and easily float on with the rest of the average people. I want to shine like a star as Paul suggests in Philippians (Phil 2:12-18). Actually, I want Christ to shine in me like a star amid this world of darkness.

Lastnight at 7:22 Louie spoke on these verses. There were maybe 3500 people there but it was one of those rare times when you feel completely secluded. Louie called us to be the lights that God has created us to be. He lit a lamp and showed the illustration of how silly it would be to light a lamp and then hide it. At one point they turned out all of the lights except for the one candle burning in the middle. So maybe the lesson is from elementary school but how appropriate. All 3500 people in that room could see the one light even among the complete darkness.

Of course Louie was using pretty extreme examples in order to show us the Light that we are hiding. He spoke about drugs and drinking and other more interesting flaws. Mine, though different, are just as stifling. My lack of discipline at times, my quick judgment, my desire for shortcuts in many areas of life that I know good and well are more enjoyed when I don't take the shortcut, my scrabbled daily priorities, my lack of mercy and grace when I have been given so much grace....all these things though not sex, drugs and rock n roll, they all stop me from allowing the Light within me to shine. Lastnight was so refreshing. So many people came to my mind lastnight. I thought of all of the joy that I do not share that I could. I thought of this light within me burning to shine in darkness but yet at times I let my own darkness cover it up.

It is now 3:05 and, no, not the time to stop where you are and think for a second. Not the time for me to push off anymore work or delay any more phonecalls. But, really - I think there is no better time. We have a duty to shine light in every dark corner. Not tomorrow or next week when things start working out more like we had planned. Not when we get married or once we take a vacation. Darkness impedes without hesitation and the longer I hold it in the darker it becomes.

I often close some of my personal emails or letters by saying "Let your light shine for all the world to see." Today I say it to myself. This is what I was created to do and I do not need an alarm clock to tell me when to let it begin. Sharing my joy is natural. I cant mess it up either as long as I just let it shine.

12 - THEREFORE, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

13 - for it is God Who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.

14 - Do everything without complaining or arguing,

15 - so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

BE THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS.