Sensation overload

I had to leave the living room with all of my roommates to be able to write this in hopes to recreate it in my head. As I was running today at the mountain I was writing this entire blog. I wanted to savor every single parcel of this run today. Every color, every rain drop, every step, every breath, every break in the trees, every leaf.....every last ounce of it. Kennesaw mountain is literally heaven to me. I've eurorailed through Europe, rode a fairy in the midst of the Swiss alps. Ive hiked part of the Grand Canyon and seen the shores of Costa Rica. Not that I am Carmen Sandiego or anything but I have seen some pretty fascinating places. My mountain surpasses it all. The trails around the mountain during the start of fall are my very own walk to Emmaus..
Every time I set foot on the back part of the trails I feel 16 again. After school let out and cheerleading practice was over I would head up to Burnt Hickory and run the long hill through the woods, across the bridge to the Cheatham Hill monument. Usually, I timed it just perfect so that as I made the near 6 mile (roundtrip) trek home the sun would start to fall right behind me. I'd climb the .25 mile up Pigeon Hill and watch the rest of the sun fall behind the clouds. Just typing that makes everything else seem a little lighter. These days the trees have grown just so that you can barely see over them at the top of the hill...Reminder that life truly is all around us whether we are present to experience it.
Today I ran the first leg of the run maybe the fastest I have ran in a long time. I am not sure where this energy came from. I had set aside this day to rest from the craziness over the last few weeks and all of a sudden I find myself sprinting up the hill. I made it to the end of the near 3 miles in record time and then turned to head back to the car. It took me about the same time to get back but it literally felt like hours that I was roaming through the woods. I didn't pass one person on the way home. Let me try my best to describe this to you. I really wanted each of you to experience this today.
There is color splashed all around you as if you are literally in the middle of one of those paintings that the older-bearded man does on tv. There is just enough orange and yellow to know that the colder weather is right around the corner. The orange smells slightly sweet with a little bit of tartness - just the way it looks. It's that same smell that you remember when you were younger and you'd smell on Saturdays when you woke up and the doors were open and the whole backyard was covered in an array or brown and orange and red and yellow. You'd throw on some dirty jeans and a sweat shirt and hit the backyard to jump in the plethora of color. Okay, back to today....The trees are still very covered with leaves so except for the occasional breaks in the trees - you are literally running through a tunnel of amazing colors. But then you do hit a break in the trees and there is a small hole that lets the tired-afternoon rays of the sun right through. Today as I ran the last mile I could tell that the sun was just about to dip right behind me. Everything was oddly still and slightly dim for the time of day and I started to feel an occasional rain drop. The rain fell the last mile home just enough to cool me off but not enough to cause me to think twice about it and then as I rounded the last corner and the trees began to break there was truly the most glorious sunset I have tasted in a long time. It was one of those odd afternoons where the clouds are bright and the sun bounces behind them and the blue in the sky radiates but for some weird reason and from no where there is rain. I don't count any of this as coincidence. I ran with my ipod but I had it off the majority of the time as it is one of my favorite times to thank God for my legs and my knees that work marginally and for my heavy breathing and for the solitude and the energy and the color and the smell and the sounds and the serenity of this place so close to the city. But as I passed the break in the trees I turned on the ipod to find the most fitting song for the moment. The shuffle button was on (my favorite) and without even touching a thing I hear the song of all 968 that I wanted to hear. I really don't believe in coincidence.

You come to me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down the busy mind
Find a hiding place
Worthy
Worthy
Open up my heart and let my spirit worships Yours
Open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth
Worthy
You are worthy
Of a childlike faith
And of my honest praise
And of my unashamed loved
Of a holy life
And of my sacrifice
And of my unashamed love

The violin sings in the background as if there is a perfect soundtrack to this entire scene. I open my hands and run the last 1/10 of a mile as hard and as fast as I can, past my body's threshold and I sing Worthy, You are worthy over and over and over....

What is funny is that I used to do this because I was a runner. I craved a tough 7 or so mile run daily. People new I liked to run. People saw me run. They wanted to know how to run and they'd ask. I hadn't done any phenomenal running type things but I just ran alot and anywhere....Italy, Athens 400 times over, California, camp, in the morning, late at night....you name it. I liked this identity. I didn't realize at the time that it labeled me at all or that maybe I had self-labeled my desire to run. As you know, the past 2 years my running abilities have been extremely limited and to be completely honest any running I do these days is in complete defiance of my body's natural radar for pain. My knees throb at the thought of running but there is a part of me that will not stop until I really can't. The last surgeon I went to suggested a rare surgery in order to hopefully fix my knees so I could enjoy the quality of life I desire. This means a year in rehab overall to fully heal both legs. I have had too much other stuff lately going on to even consider this option. Therefore, I take Mobic, the miracle drug, and run through the pain hoping that along one of these runs I might run into my old identity again. I want it back - I wont lie. You always want what you cant have....but as much as I want it back I know that my inability to run the way I would like is for a reason. Maybe I never really was a runner and maybe you never thought that about me but in some weird way the world told me I was that kind of achiever and I have fought 2 years now to hold on to whatever it is that I had thought about myself.

Nonetheless, whenever I get to run freely and without time limit like today I literally praise God for every single step. I know the day is near when I really wont be able to last through the pain and I honestly can not imagine not being able to get lost in the scenery as I did today. You can't do that in a pool. You cant do that in a gym. It can only happen outside - among God's creation. It's not the same from a car window or even a high mountain. No postcard nor picture nor video camera nor blog can fully recreate the magnitude and gratitude for my experiences deep in the woods. You are truly worthy, God, of all of my praise.

Now to ice my knees and pray for yet another experience like today in the near future. Thank You.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I didn't even mention the icing on the cake. After my afternoon in Eden I went to mama's house for some home cookin! Are you kidding me? Is this really my life. Cute Carter was home and we enjoyed the most fabulous dinner, twice baked potatoes and all and then we saw mama and daddy's pictures from their recent trip. I saw picture after picture after picture of the Swiss Alps that mama and daddy hiked and played in for 2 weeks. I 'ooed' and 'ahhhed' and I meant it whole heartedly but a little part of me knew that my run through the woods today takes home the cake. God's glory is literally right below us. Thank you, God, for my 5 lovely senses!