Embracing the Calm

Oprah, Beth Moore and pumpkin spice latte's from Starbucks are my three vices these days. Here is what it feels like.....there is a movie in the background and all of the scenes are going by 5 times the speed of reality. And then there is me walking at normal pace in front of the scene. Lollygagging if you will. Hands in my pocket. Licking a blowpop or sipping my pumpkin spice latte.
And the three things that help me take the next slow step are my drugs mentioned above. If you only read this paragraph you would think I am suicidal. Oh, contrary, Mary Mary.

I just can't seem to move at the pace that everything else around me seems to be moving. Every morning that I am not teaching classes at the break of dawn I become the eternal housewife. I sleep in a little later. Finally mosey out of bed, make some coffee and eggs. Sit on the couch under the perfect down comforter. I read Beth Moore til I start talking like her in her perfect southern accent. Then I clean. make my bed. Run a bubble bath and soak in it as if there was nothing else in the day for me to do. Candles and all. I take my time getting dressed and then hope that someone wants to have lunch with me.
WHAT AM I WRITING? IS THIS REALLY ME? Have you EVER known me to sit on the couch? There is friction right now in this routine just enough to make me wonder that maybe I shouldn't do this forever but not enough to make me question my work ethics. I need the down time. I can't remember another season of life where I allowed my energy to dictate the pace of my day. Typically I set several almost undoable appointments and I time block my whole day until the whole day is covered with things to do. And whether or not I have the strength to do it all I run on adrenaline and get a whole heck of alot of mostly-non-mandatory things done. But I get stuff done and that is what makes me tick! So, not that those things to do have gone anywhere but for some reason my tenacity to do all of them has left the room. Out the front door.

here is my take on it all for what it is worth. God is always preparing us for the next season. Normally, I don't recognize this when I am in the season before "The Season." But this time for some reason I know that I am being prepared rather than being ignored (oh, how thankful I am that we learn these things eventually.) Life is comfortable right now. Everything I do from work to workouts to church to the grocery store exists in a 4.1 mile radius. I live in Atlanta and never experience traffic. I am in a fast-paced sales job and though business could always be better - it's enough to live on these days. My family is 30 minutes away from me. I have thick, rich, creamy friendships enough to turn all the hate in the world into love. There are no male intruders in my life to make me feel anything less than I should. Life is easy. Almost too easy. I am not trying to bring on the hard stuff (though I do cherish the growth process that comes with trials.) I just know for once the it is quiet right now for a reason. God is rejoicing over me with singing right now. I have been showered with encouragement and positive affirmation lately both literally from friends and coworkers but also from my Creator. My role is to take to heart what He has been saying to me because I know a day draws near where I will need to feel deep down these affirmations. This is the quiet before the storm. Not to say that it has to be a terrible, destructive storm but a storm nonetheless where things are different and not so calm.

Until that day comes I will wake up to my eggs and my downtime on the couch with Beth Moore. I'll stroll through my day paying attention to only the things that I have committed to doing (this involves work). Ill come home and put the shades down and let Oprah tell me what is going on in the world. Ill even watch the commercials and then at night, like the last few, Ill make the 1.6 mile trek to one of 4 Starbucks on my street and order my newest love from Leo - the friendly Baristo. And all the while my lips will praise Him for the songs of praise and affirmation that He is pouring over me. All the while, too, I will delight in your words and letters and emails of affirmation and I will eat every single word up with a spoon and even lick the bowl because I know He is building me up for the next season.

The Lord your God is with you
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17-18