A little part of the Big story.....fka "My Year to Thrive"

My favorite word in highschool was Lagniappe thanks to Dr. Sims. Lagniappe is 'a little something extra.' I just like the word and the french origin. Hope you enjoy a little something extra today!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'd rather have tapeworm

In 5th or 6th grade (mama, pull out the 12 boxes in the basement of all my trophies and figure out which year this was) I won a writing contest for writing about how much I loathed the dentist. I don't use the word loathe for any other subject than this......the scraping of your teeth with the metal pick, the taste of the gritty toothpaste or better yet the new and improved, baking soda wash as it drips down your throat, the hygenist hovering inches over your mouth, xrays, rubber gloves shoved down your throat while trying to stick a whole fist and some floss in your mouth....yuck yuck yuck. I have to go home now - I am sick just recalling it. All of this to use the word 'loathe.'
So I wrote a short story about it. They liked it and I then gave it to my dentist as a token of my affection.
Well since then I have found God's gift to the dentistry profession. My new dentist slaps you with a mask to inhale laughing gas the moment you walk in the door even if it is just to pay the bill. All of the ladies wear bright make up and have big hair and they talk in very high voices like you are in a fairy tale. And that is only the beginning. Once you get to the back you are brought to a Led Zeppelin or Beatles themed room. The chair comes equipt with a full body massager (which makes me nervous to use if anyone is going to stick a sharp object in my mouth.) On the wall and on the ceiling there is a tv so even when you are lying down you arent missing any daytime television. They have the best fleece blankets that they lay over your legs so you cant dare get chilly. More so, if you are really bothered by the sound there are headphones that tune into the tv and block out the outside noise and if that doesnt work - there is always more laughing gas.

This year my dental insurance changed and my own little dentist-disney world is no longer in network. I am stubborn and pay for things that are of value to me - so I still see my lovely dentist and just pay an arm and a leg to do so.
This may be the end of our relationship though. Yesterday, after going more than a quarter century with beautiful little chompers - I am told the not so good news that I have the start of not only one but 2 CAVITIES in the back of my teeth. Devastation.
I am not exaggerating. I lost it yesterday over 2 cavities. Perfectionist much? No.

Can they put me under to fill cavities? I think I will take off a week of work. This is possibly one of my worst nightmares. More so, I wont be able to go to my happy dental friend because it will cost me nearly $400 to do it out of network and about a fraction of that if I go to someone they tell me to go to. I hate being told what to do. I am not good with authority. Who is MetLife anyway?
Nonetheless, I think Id rather a colonoscopy or tapeworm over a cavity. Oops, sorry, 2 cavities!!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

do you go to dental TLC!?!? this sounds identical to my dentist! love them! sorry about the cavities :( you don't even want to know how many cavities I have...apparently they say it's genetics...it's not that bad..I promise!

8:21 AM  

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