June already?

Are you kidding me? Someone told me it was June 4th today! It is already the 4th day of June??? June being the 6th month of the year??? Half time!!! What? I was just enjoying my new sky-blue, knee length, perfect winter coat and what do you know it is June!!! Where have I been hibernating you might ask? When you find that answer let me know too. Time is weird isnt it? I am not sure if I can put this into words but I here it goes. I still think in semesters. Yes, still. With semesters - you have good ones and bad ones, hard ones and semesters where you do more sunbathing on the Theta sundeck than anything else, exciting semesters and just plain miserable semesters. I love semesters! I love seasons for the same reason....more of a time frame to get it together. It's much easier to say....."Oh, me???... I had a fabulous fall!" Then to alternatively, classify things by the month. But then - if you still choose to view life in blocks as I so conveniently do - one day you wake up and half the year is over. I sound like my mother or my mother's mother..."Where did the time go?" Dont you so easily recall old people asking you this when you were oh but 17 and the summers couldnt have come any faster? When you are 17 or 15 - you know those years before the big years - you want nothing more than the days to pass.(This is actually not so accurate for me but for the rest of you I suppose. I LOVED 17 - one of my most favorite years yet. I was a cheerleader dating the quarter back and I was happy! I loved Friday night football and Sunday youth group. Dont label me - there was more to it.)Anyway, now - I just get the temperature in our house adjusted and before you know it it is time to change wardrobes again.
I really mean this next statement too - I am still checking off things on my to do list from February! Not kidding. Future employers disregard this paragraph. You know those things that linger and never seem to get fully done? The ones that are continually on your to-do list? Well, yes, I am still doing them. Nearly half a year later. I should just throw the list away. Maybe I'll write that on the list - "throw the list away." I love lists too - have I ever mentioned that?

Anyway, what happend to the 2-5: My Year to Thrive? Not that I am not thriving....just not in the way I had thought. I was thinking marathons and trips to Africa along with some serious career direction. Instead my knees are still broken without drugs, I have made a few trips to Nashville (fabulous but not Africa) and I have about 5 different directions I am hoping the wind blows me at some point this year - all of which I am not so sure how they will actually happen. Isnt all of this beautiful though? It is comforting in the most comforting of ways that things didnt turn out as I had hoped. I can name lesson after lesson this year that God has taught me that I probably didnt even know I needed taught a few months ago. And how thankful am I that God would know my heart enough to know where I need refinement? How encouraging that we are continually being transformed into His likeness? It is discomforting at how time really does fly when you are having fun and more so, how, as we were warned, it goes faster the older you get. But it is humbling that so much good can happen in that time frame. I remember certain times over the past few years where I really sat on this very couch thinking that the way I felt at that moment was ephemeral. Yes, all the while knowing that with time things do pass but it just seemed as though God was nowhere near to figure this one out. Of course, then we are granted that sense of peace that we dont even deserve and it all just clicks in the most comforting of ways. Thank You Thank You Thank You for continually seeking change in me! Thank You for choosing to daily refine me into a precious creation - all the better to maginify your glory! I couldnt imagine a life of just passing days that turn into another semester or another season??? I couldnt imagine a life without purppose or passion? I am thankful that though the days pass quickly and as the warning suggests - they will only continue to pass quicker - my days matter. God knows each of my days and He has chosen to use me in each of those days simply because I said Yes to His pursuit.

I am going to find that dumb list now and start crossing off some items tonight. If for some reason you think that you might be the subject of one of these "To-do's" please forgive me. I am being refined as we speak in the area of time management.